Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei
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No one really knows what to expect when going to a place they found out existed two years ago. That is, my introduction to Brunei, yes, it’s a country, came from two references in the same week, after that it was on my radar. The first instance being an article in Travel magazine that happened to be on our living room table, the second was while watching VH1’s Lifestyles of Filthy Rich Billionaires, this program talked about the Sultan of Brunei’s billion-dollar yacht. Aside from the riches and the two words that got this politics nerd even more interested was “oil-rich” and “sultanate,” it was like reading geopolitical literotica.
That being said, Brunei is located on the island of Borneo, which is south of Malaysia. Borneo is controlled by three countries: Indonesia has the biggest portion to the south and west; Malaysia to the north; and then Brunei which has it’s 382,000 person population located in a small slice of paradise cover just over 200 sq.km. Like Malaysia there are three official languages, Malay, English and Arabic, in that order; however presently the Sultan has decided that there will be a gradual shift to using Arabic over Malay given the intense Muslim heritage or his Sultanate. The judicial system has two types of law. English Civil Law; which is all about S&M, caning and hanging and paperclips on your nipples (OK, I made the last part up). The other is like Muslim law. Most people apparently choose to get tried in this court, since you have a choice. I don’t know what the punishments are probably saying Hail Mary’s or something. While on the subject of religion it is important to mention that there are two churches in Brunei, Catholic and Anglican, you can practise your religion on the grounds, but once you set foot outside, it’s Allah country. As you know there is no other Allah and Mohammed is his prophet, but they forget to add that the Sultan is pretty tight with Allah so he decides how to interpret it.
I should point out that everything closes around 830p and 1030p at the latest, according to the locals “there is sun, but no fun in Brunei.” Leave your alcoholism on the plane or in KL because you can’t sip the syrup in Brunei.
Oh, and you guessed it, the Sultan reigns supreme, anything he says goes, no questions - he exiled his own brother, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
The Empire Hotel is just that an empire, it has a golf course and a multiplex, not to mention a hotel that dwarfs anything I have EVER seen (It is apparently one of two 7 Star hotels, the other is in Dubai). The only word to describe it is palatial, which is funny because that is what it was meant to be. It was a gift to the Sultan’s brother, which he attempted to sell for about 100 import cars and X amount of USD not too long ago. It was for this somewhat dirty business that Jeffery, who was also the Minister of Finance, got his ass exiled. The Sultan doesn’t play, on the real, don’t let his record of free education, subsidised housing, next to free health care fool you, he has a hammer and knows how to use it. Though, the brother ended up pretty well he now lives in London in a million plus flat.
At about 900p I arrived in the Brunei Darussalam International Airport at Bandar Seri Begawan. I was the only white person (or “Cauc” as I was informed later by an Australian fellow I met on my return journey) I knew that this place had sold out to Royal Dutch Shell instantly, all of the jetways have Shell in Arabic on them. It was still warm, very warm. The cab driver I hailed was ex-military, although everyone in Brunei must serve - he chose it as a career. He said he was a squash player, Olympic calibre by his own recounts, turned soldier and civil servant. Othman, also alerted me to the fact that there was an Asian Tour golf tourney at the Empire. I thought, bonus round, relaxing and golf, this did however crush my dreams of playing a round.
As I pulled up to the Empire I could not believe it, it was truly “Asia’s ultimate hotel.” The lobby is stunning marble as is everything else, shiny, it was almost gaudy, definitely ostentatious by western standards. Side note: of all two hotels I have stayed at that've had a majority of Muslim inhabitants (The Grovner House in London and The Empire), there is a propensity to have a tawdry green everywhere especially for the upholstery on chairs, even Robin William’s blind interior decorator would say “oh, dear Christ, who let this happen!” I couldn’t tell that night but the lobby building was six stories tall, with windows all around looking out into the pool area and the South China Sea.
The pool is epic, it’s like Pirates of the Caribbean meets The Beach. The all connect and there is sand on the bottom. People are wheelin’ around in sea kayaks in the damn pool it’s so big. Though, there are smaller more localised pools for the other buildings. Funny enough no one is the South China Sea, except me – something about jelly fish, but it didn’t phase me. I just with I had someone to sail with because they had a Hobie and it was gale force.
My room was about twice the size of my apartment. Marble bathroom, it was pretty ridiculous. I hope I can post pictures.
I would talk about the palace, but it’s only open after Ramadan, when he personally greets every visitor. Oh, yeah, if you touch him, he’s lucky. Psh! I did see the Queen roll out in a motorcade in her Benz though, got pics.
Bandar Seri Begawan, means city of blessings, it is an interesting city. It was the conclusion of the tour. Although, the tour went to the water village, I skipped out on the free ride back to explore. I walked past the Mosque that you see in all of the post cards, it was spectacular. White and gold. The sun reflecting of it’s surface reflected its majesty upon the moat. People walked in and out. The city itself is not very busy given the small population of Brunei, streets are short lanes for the most part. Buildings are pretty tightly packed. Though, what is remarkable is how every building has a birthday card to the Sultan on it. His birthday was the 15th of July, and apparently he accepts adverts as birthday cards, he is 63, the longest ruling sultan. Earlier that day, we went to the Royal Regalia, which displays some of the gifts he received at coronation, I guess the simple things are really what he appreciates, maybe after receiving a 1/100 scale model of Mecca, it’s easy. By the way the US and other western countries gifts are in his palace for him to enjoy.
What is remarkable, is that I see Presenjit Duara’s work everywhere (not just in Brunei, but literally everywhere, I am a Duarist, this is hard to explain), Kathy would be proud me. Flags are everywhere and other pictures of the Sultan (can’t say his name because it is a paragraph long. But, I got news for him, King of Thailand’s name is longer), additionally the street signs are in Arabic and English. The regime of authenticity is definitely a top-down phenomenon.
Museum anthropology is also a part of the Kansas City Shuffle of being a tour guide. Show them what they want and get them to look one way while something else is going on. Something slightly less attractive. For example, I was stunned by the glory of the mosque, but I saw something on the other side. A shanty town. Turns out Pleasantville has its rainy days too.
I took the bus back, seven people were on it, nicest public transit ever – it even had a conductor and a/c. It only cost B$ 1 to go anywhere. I enjoyed my DQ blizzard after a disappointing time at the mall.
The next day I chose to stay at the hotel and enjoy the facilities. I think I was the only one that day to enter the South China Sea, and as I mentioned before there was a stiff breeze. It was at the restaurant on the see shore that night that I watched the sunset into the sea. Would have been nice to have other people to share that with, but beautiful nonetheless. The pictures and video that I took of the sunset really remind me of a postcard or handout that I took from the doctor’s office when I was younger. I remember that I lost it behind the radiator at the house I grew up in.
That night I finished off all of the grading that I had to do – 25 Mid-Terms in one and a half hours, now what? CNN anyone? Wish I had Bloomberg.
The last day in Brunei was spent sweating on the golf course and writing blog entries. When I say sweating those who know me understand, but in all seriousness it was 107 on the course. Which was very green and not too daunting, the winners in the past had finished around 15-19 under par. But, I will say there were some gnarly hills and hazards; for example, a sand trap with sawgrass in it, and a sandtrap after a tee box that required about a 230 yard carry of the tee, or else you were in the beach. Both the front and back nine have holes on the South China Sea where the wind is blowing. Simply said, the sultan’s brother knew what he was doing when he hired Jack Nicklaus to design his course. Did I mention that the fairways are all lined with lights? Night golf is permitted on the weekends. Though, rumour has it the Sultan plays during the week at night.
When I got to the Brunei Darussalam International Airport I realised I had three and a half hours to kill. I went hunting for conversation. I plopped down next to a middle-aged woman and began to chat. She was Australian as was her boyfriend of 20 years, Andrew. He was a firecracker of a human being, bubbly, and I though he was going to jump out of his chair when he was telling his stories about his travels. The guy had been everywhere; in fact he and his girlfriend (whose name I can’t recall) had just done an 18 month 6 country journey. Here I though I knew how to travel, I was wrong. Long story short, after two hours of lively discussion, I now have a place to stay in Perth.
On the plane I sat next to one of the golfers from the tourney, his choice of expletives as he sat down, which I believe was in reference to the usual 3 hour Air Asia delay – Air Asia, we’ll get you there, buuuuut that’s about it, after hearing him I knew we would get along. Steven, is Malay, moved to Australia to learn English during school, but when he moved back to Malaysia he refused to speak his native Malay because he claimed English was more important. So, he can speak Malay but chooses only to comprehend and answer in English. I appreciated his cynicism towards KL were he grew up and his generally caustic wit. Fun guy to sit next to. His advertisement of Jakarta sold me, I’m there.
Next thing I knew it was 3am and I was back in a hotel room 30 minutes from the LCCT.
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